One night at the Cabin and I become A declutteraholic

Shack in the woods

Well let me get this off my chest. My Mother was... no still is a hoarder. Growing up we had 15 cats, and a ton of crap in our house we didn't use or need. This was after my father passed away when I was 15. (He was 89 when he passed away, but that is for a different post) She did not clean, that was all on me, and when you are 15-18 years old, do you want to clean. NO of course not. 

So without going into much detail, my home when I was 10-18 years old was a cabin in the woods. It was brand new in 1989, after my childhood home burnt down in the spring of 1989. We moved in that winter to a brand new log cabin. It was gorgeous. one level with a loft and a basement. I even helped build it...well I pounded a couple of nails ( I was 9). Then my father took sick. He had dementia. And the last few years of his life were not a good time for me. He was old and ill, and I was left with him frequently, oh yah and my grandmother lived with us as well. In this time frame of my life my mother decided to acquire things that she really didn't need. Books mainly, yarn, cats. Things upon things. And she had asthma. So she always told me she could not clean. It would bother her asthma. So I cleaned. everything. all the time. cat boxes, swept, dishes. I was basically Cinderella. But I could leave the house. I could go to town if I could get there. So I biked. I loved the freedom of getting on my bike and going. It was a 45 minute bike ride, but I didn't care. Not in the summer. In the winter I was in school and bused in. And I joined everything I could after school. Mainly girl guides and soccer. And every chance I could I would stay at a friends after school. 

Recently this home that I loved and hated at the same time has come back into my life after 10 years. My husbands and mine. I had mixed feelings of this at first. I didn't want it. I have some awful memories associated with this home. And it is a neglected shack now. No power, no running water. And IT WAS A MESS. I can not stress this enough. My mother abandoned this place a few years after I left. Now she is trying to make amends and has gotten it back. But it is still a mess. Piles of magazines, cat feces, fur, old things that no one wants. So we cleaned it out. At least the main level. The basement still needs A LOT of work, but we are getting there. 

But it NEVER fails. Every time we return from that place I end up going through our stuff. I clean the house from top to bottom. I open windows, air out every room. And my house is not dirty or cluttered. My husband has OCD, for cleaning. Our house is pretty tidy. But when I get home from the shack in the woods I need to declutter. I guess it is a type of therapy. As is writting in this blog. I know this does not relate to ADHD. But this is a blogging journey of our lives. And the beginning of mine was pretty crappy. Now I have a wonderful beautiful home. I have an amazing husband who works tirelessly to provide for our family. I have two beautiful children that I can never get enough of. Even if one is a little scatter brained. Maybe she gets some of that from my mom. The Hoarder. Maybe she has ADHD. She can never finish tasks, and her attention is always drifting, unless it is something she is interested in. And at 78 years old she still has a hard time keeping still and is ALWAYS knitting. 

HMMMM food for thought.

Also I will be switching this Blog over to word press. I have found out that you can not leave comments unless you have a google account. I do not know if that is why we are not getting any comments but I wanted to try wordpress anyways. 

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed. 


Please if you have any comments or suggestions you can email us at unicorn4life6@gmail.com

Thanks

Julia

5 Reasons Why You Should Unplug for 24 hours. #ADHD retreat

Sometimes you just have to unplug and reset yourself. My kids and I are heading to our cabin in the woods, literally it is a cabin set on 15 acres of forest.

 It was my home growing up and it is now our #ADHD retreat. We haven't be able to make it up this summer much, so today we are going up over night. 

This is a long term project that is going to be worth the wait. The cabin is not hooked up to any power grid, we must use a generator, and there is no running water. It needs some repair, and needs to be cleaned out. Every time we go up we clean out another room. Or fix something small. It was abandoned for about 10 years. So it is a little dusty. HAHA

It is a great place for Nicole to let loose and unplug. Gets her away from the computer screen and lets her creativity flow. It is a large place to explore filled with animals and nature, a pond, and a river within biking distance.

She takes her littlest pet shops and does videos, paints, and just chills out. No internet for a little bit does the world of good. As much as she loves her internet, as do I, you need a break once in a while. 

So this is our list of reasons why you should unplug for at least 24 hours:

1- Relieve some stress-
        You know if you can check on your blog you will, so if you go someplace where you can't then you will think about it less. Won't be constantly thinking "Oh I can add this to that", or I should check Pinterest and search for so and so. Sometimes it is a relief when you can't check on the blog.

2-Get back to nature-
        Just stopping to enjoy the view, or smelling the flowers. I LOVE to take pictures. It relaxes me. 

https://www.flickr.com/photos/152592777@N03/

Check out my flickr portfolio.

And I love nature pictures. Of flowers, trees, insects. It makes me slow down and look at something a little longer. It is fall here so all the beautiful fall colors are just waiting to be photographed. In this day and age of quicker and more efficiently everything, sometimes it is just nice to slow down and really see things from a different angle. 

3-Getting a different perspective-
         Sometimes taking a break from something will let your mind subconsciously think about a problem you are having. Ever forget about a name, it drives you nuts that you can't think of that certain name, you then say oh well its gone now. A few hours later, BING, "It was Einstein who discovered Theory of relativity" It just pops into your brain. If you are having a mental block about what to post next, #Take a break. Go on a nature Hike. Clear your mind. Something will pop into your mind. Even if it is "5 reasons to go on a nature Hike", OR " 5 reasons not to go on a nature hike with your children."

4-ADHD people need change-
          Going someplace for 24 hours even if it is a motel or a sleepover, really helps with the "I'm Bored" phrase. Which is a signature phrase in this house. Even when Nicole is doing something, she is bored. So going away for 24 hours, even if she complains at first, she usually comes around. It is usually because she sees animals, or discovered something she didn't know or see before. Our little ADHD retreat is the best way for her to get a change and try new things. Every time we go up there she finds something new. 

5-Brings you closer together-
           When even we go to our little cabin in the woods we always bring games. Card games, board games. And it helps us bond and get closer together. We sit up late, talk, eat junk (smores over an open fire inside). Listen to the rain on the roof. Get a little spooked out because it is SO DARK. Cuddling under blankets. You get the idea. Its the best #ADHD retreat ever. 

Do you unplug. Do you have a special place that you can go and get a change in scenery or add some adventure to the mundane? Or do you have your own ADHD retreat you like to take off too?

Let us know

Thanks
Julia and Nicole

Why Do I need to Medicate? #ADHD Problems

After Nicole's diagnosis the Psychologist said you will have to medicate her. So we waited for a year to see a pediatrician (we currently do not have a family doctor) so we could "fix" what was wrong with Nicole's frontal cortex. During that year we added adaptations. We encouraged and we changed routines. And we were doing great. 

Then we added the medication...

First it was Adderal XR. This was a disaster. She was moody, depressed, she withdrew from her friends. Her teacher was concerned. And she stopped her singing lessons. 

So over the summer we stopped taking it. Summer time is for relaxing and enjoyment, and throwing routines out the window. She was a happy, normal 12 year old. She went zip lining, faced her fear of heights in doing so, and LOVED it. 

We once again started the Adderall the middle of august,to get ready for the school year, and instantly it was a disaster. Within a week she had changed again. 

We returned to the pediatrician and told her the Adderall XR was not for Nicole, can we try something else? 

She prescribed Biphentin. This medication worked to a point. I noticed a difference, she seemed calmer, but distant. Not herself. She was a bit moody, not like the Adderall but different. She has all new teachers so they do not know how she was before her medication. They tell me she is doing great, She is writing in ELA, she is doing great in math, whatever she is struggling with, everyone seems to be struggling with. She had a couple of incidents where she was outraged by someone's remarks, but she handled it well. Not OVERLY emotional about it. But at home she is different. Distant is the only word that describes it well. Not acting the same at all. Her personality has changed. 

Off the medication

Nicole and I have decided to stop using the Biphentin. It does not seem to be working, and I have noticed the last few days that she is actually doing better off it. Her room is clean this morning, she has been getting along with her sister, and she got to school on time this morning. I have to say I know what the medication does to Nicole. It suppresses her personality. The last few days she has been cheerful, she is in her room, PLAYING, acting herself again. I know she is a bit hyper but if the teachers are not complaining and calling me then why do I need to medicate her?( her teachers are great this year, Her ELA and Social studies teacher was her older sisters teacher).


The Doctors tell us that we should medicate because if you have a heart condition then you would take medication to help that. 
Its a good analogy but I don't think it works for all children with ADHD. Yes I get frustrated, but I would rather get frustrated with a good nature 12 year old, then a yelling screaming, snot nosed, angry 12 year old.

I also believe that Nicole's anxiety was causing some of her struggles last year. We have been doing really well keeping her anxiety under control. It has been a long process but it seems to be getting better. 

I hope someone reads this and gets some information from it. We all know taking medication is a trial and error period. So far we have had more errors...I think, for now, taking her off the medication is the best way for her. As her education advances we will have to reassess. 

Thanks for reading, Leave a comment and let us know how we are doing.

Calm Mom Julia

#ADHD problems

#Adhd Problems

I would like to list some of the "problems" we have in our household:

Problem-"a matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with and overcome."



1-Well we can start off with getting up in the morning. Nicole is the hardest child to get out of bed in the morning. Today was bad, it took me an hour to get her going. It doesn't matter how early she goes to bed, it is a hassle in the morning. 

2-We have gone over this before but keeping her room clean. Man is that a difficult one. She gets so distracted by each thing in her room. She has the best of intentions but 5 minutes in she has become distracted by a container of slime, or that stuffed animal on the floor, or the shape of something on her desk.

3-Keeping anything organized including school books, her room, her clothes. The thing is I know she wants to get organized, she starts putting her littlest pet shop accessories into compartments, and then gets side tracked into a lively and creative dialog with them and then its game over. Getting her back on track is a huge battle. 

4-Getting any type of homework done. Its either too hard or too easy, there is no, I can do this and just sits down and gets it done. Its a good hour of complaining that its too hard, and "I don't know how to do this", when I know for sure she does. 

5-Knowing she is a great kid and still getting frustrated with her when it isn't even her fault. I think this is the hardest one. We both are very frustrated in the morning, either she is yelling or I'm yelling. No matter how much pre-planning the night before we just can't get our act together to get her out the door on time. 

The good news is that when she is taking the Biphentin on a regular basis, some of these are a little easier to tackle. Today was by far the worse morning this school year, and she hadn't taken her medication the last couple of days because we are both sick. I'm waiting to hear back from her teachers on how she was in school today, and we will know a little better if the medication is working for her. She still says it isn't but I've noticed a difference since she stopped taking them. She definitely has been easier to get up in the morning when I was giving her the medication. 

So these are the #ADHD problems that we have in our house. I listed these things as problems because it is hard for us to overcome these aspects of Nicole's personality. We work on them daily along with an assortment of others. 

Feel free to list your "problems" you have a hard time adjusting to or over coming. Sometimes getting stuff onto "paper" so to speak helps you understand and overcome it easier. 

Thank for reading
Julia

Real Mom Rant #ADHD problems

I think I need to have a really good rant right now. 

I'm a little disgruntled over other parents that don't like my child because she is "too loud", or a "little hyper", or a little "over emotional". UGHHHHH

My Child has Attention deficit hyperactive disorder. She can not always control her emotions or her voice, and she sometimes forgets that people don't like it when you are really close to them. She has to be reminded to settle down and when someone tells her to stop, she doesn't always understand that means right now! She can't always control what spews out of her mouth, so sometimes yes she swears. Who the %&*# doesn't? 

Whats your child's excuse?

What gives these parents the right? Judgmental and ignorant. Don't know my child's creativity and compassion. So they don't let their children hang out with mine because she gets a little over whelming. I know she can be loud, I'm loud, your own child can be loud too, but do I say that so and so can't hang out with my child because they did something I didn't like? I don't know that child well enough to say, no. I get to know the child first before I make any decisions. And it has to be VERY bad behavior for me to say that no you can't hang out with so and so. I also give children second chances. Or they won't learn. And Nicole won't learn to be forgiving. 

I have to stay calm and chill when I see these parents at the school on a regular basis. Knowing what there "perfect angels" are doing behind their backs. Check your kids social media once and a while. Its like a whole different universe to these kids and they don't understand that what happens on social media can affect how people see them. 

Parents are too afraid of their children not liking them now a days, "facebook parents", can't get off their own social media long enough to spend time with their own children or see how they behave behind their backs. Also a lack of discipline from parents and authority figures in the school. Teachers are not even allowed to raise their voices too loud, or they are considered mean. Man it was a good day when the teacher only raised his or her voice. I mean I certainly don't want the paddle or dunce cap coming back but let the teachers have the ability to discipline a child. Send them to the office. Make children respect teachers and principals and counselors. Just their elders in general. You see it too often the complete disrespect this generation has toward their elders.

I'm getting off topic, I just get so mad when I hear from Nicole that another one of her friends can't hang out with her because that persons parents don't like her. Is that something you should really be saying to a child? Shouldn't the child be the one making these decisions? At least to a point? If you trust your child to walk home by themselves at 10 or 11 doesn't that mean they can make the decision as to who they can hang out with and decide for themselves if that person is a good fit for them? I mean if they are smoking or drinking or worse, then by all means cut them off, but because someone is a little loud? Or emotional. COME ON!!!!

But maybe I'm too old school for my own good. But it seems to have worked for my oldest daughter, so i'm not going to change my parenting. I let my children be who they are, I don't want to change them because they are a little loud. When you are loud, it means you will be heard. 

My oldest daughter has been the loudest one of her friends for as long as I can remember...She is also a glider pilot at 16 and second in command of her cadet squadron. She is applying to be valedictorian this year and has competed in speaking competitions. Loud is not a bad thing. People take notice when you are loud. And to me that is a good thing. 

When an ADHD child hears that they are being too something, they take that and make it 10 times worse than it is. So parents please stop being so judgmental. They are only children.  

Please tell me what frustrates you about other parents being judgmental or just plain ignorant when it comes to ADHD. 

Thanks for reading
Julia

Five tips for keeping an ADHD child's bedroom clean and tidy!

The dreaded "Get your room clean" is Nicole's worst phrase, and in this house it happens a lot.

Today she must have her room clean after school or no electronics for the evening. 


My husband has OCD, for cleaning, if you understand Obsessive Compulsion Disorder, you get that my husband has a hard time just leaving a messy room alone. Nicole can't just shut her door and it magically doesn't bother my husband. Knowing ADHD people have a hard time staying on task, and OCD people can not just "ignore" something that bothers them you can image dealing with the two of them. She gets frustrated and angry and the tears come. He gets frustrated and gets angry. More tears come. And I'm stuck in the middle. 


More than once I have just cleaned her room so that everyone can stay happy and comfortable. But I know that doesn't help her learn how to get simple jobs done.


If you struggle with your child to keep his or her messy room neat, tidy and organized read on for some helpful tips.


1- Take LOTS of breaks. Putting things into smaller task, for example, put away the small toys and then you can take a break (usually play on minecraft) for 15 minutes then we will tackle something else.

2- Do it before doing something really fun. Nicole knows that if she wants friends to come over she must have her room clean before hand. This reinforces the reward system as well, you can't do one thing with out first doing this.

3-Keep them on task. Stay in the room to keep reminding them what they are doing. Nicole has to be reminded constantly of what she is doing, or she gets distracted. She makes slime and this is the hardest one to deal with. She must play with each one before she puts it away. That makes putting away the slime a longer task. I'm constantly reminding her that she has to put them away and move onto something else. 

4- Set a time limit. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't. If she is having a bad day she will feel over whelmed, and get frustrated quickly. But if there is a big reward at the end then it isn't too bad. This only works if her room is only untidy and not like a tornado went through it! ( Which happens more often than you would think...and very quickly at that)

5 Encourage and PRAISE. This is one of my favorites. In this day and age I think we all forget how good it feels to have a pat on the back for a job well done. Instead of negative remarks and yelling, praise for what was accomplished. A simple "Look at how far you have come so far, only a bit farther and you will be done." We all get frustrated but trying to stay calm and chill will go along way. It helps them stay calm and get the job done.

These five tips have saved my sanity on more than one occasion.

Hopefully these tips help you, even if your child isn't hyper, but just does not like to clean there room (I have one that loves it).

Comment below if you have additional tips to get that disaster they call a bedroom back to sparkling.

DIY slime

Hey guys 

   So today I'm going to be doing a DIY slime.

This is a picture of a dark blue slime I made. 


 Now I'm doing this because I find slime helps me, I can fidget with it, soo ya lets get into it. The main picture on here is a picture my mom took (she LOVESSSSS to take pictures of everything)of a rainbow slime I made. 

                                                                      THE ITEMS

So the items you will need is:

1: a bowl
2:a spoon or a mixing thing
3: you will need some pva glue, i use elmers glue
4: some food colouring (optional)
5: and some borax water, contact lens solution, liquid starch or some tide
                                                                              

                                                                          DIY

#1: so the first thing you do is you take your bowl and pour your PVA glue in the bowl

#2: then you pour water in the glue bottle until its half full and shake the water, to get all the extra glue out of the bottle

#3: next you can pour in your food coloring and them mix in the water, glue and food coloring.

#4: so then when its all mixed in you can start adding in the borax and the measurements are 1 tps of borax and 1 cup of warm water and mix that in together and then add it in.

#5: then when it looks like the slime is coming together you can take it out and play with it and add more borax water if its sticky.




SOOO, that is all I have for you today thank you for coming by and see you on our next blog;

Comment below if you have questions about us or what you would like us to talk about.

Hyper Child Introduction

      Hey my names Nicole. I'm 12 years old and I have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and anxiety. Me and my Mom decided to start this to help others with ADHD because its hard to deal with it I have lost friends and struggle in school and at home.







Today I'm starting this Blog as well as starting a new medication (Biphentin). I am feeling exited and I don't know if its really doing anything. But keep in mind this is my first day using them. I do think my heart is racing and I still fell antsy.

So its been 3 hours since I had the pill… still fell antsy not feeling any different with taking the pill but it is my first day.. 

              Why I switched

So I switched from my old pill because it made me angry and depressed, it changed me I was separating myself from my friends I was just yelling at all my friends for no reason. I lost my best friend, I lost myself but then I found someone who could see past my anger, Sadness and depression. She didn't care I was yelling at her she didn’t care I was sad she help me through that and I'm soooo happy that I found someone who cared to help me.

          Me without medication

So me without medication is like if you have coffee for the first time or a sugar high. I'm all over the place and I yell a lot and people think I'm to loud that’s why I lose friends. They don’t take the time to get to know me for me.

          Why I started the blog

The reason I started this Blog is because I know ADHD can be hard but if I could help someone at the end of the day I have done my job and let me tell you IT GETS BETTER

Thanks for reading
Bye

Please leave comments on what you think and ways that we can improve, please remember we are just starting this and any advice is appreciated.

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Thanks

School starts tomorrow!!! #ADHD problems

Today I'm going to be talking about school too because I'm starting Jr high tomorrow. Well I'm scared and exited. I feel its going to be hard for me to write because every time I try to write my hand takes over me. Its hard for me to explain, my hand itself gets fidgety so I can't hold the pencil or pen and it takes me FOREVER to write a paragraph. I can write now this blog is on a computer so I can get the words out better because I'm typing not writing. And I have to get my mom to edit everything, and double check it, because I don't have the patience for grammar. I think we are going to try grammarly for me(hopefully we can review it here and help someone else too)So I really do think school is going to be a challenge, I'm scared and excited I do know a couple of my teachers and my sister did go to this school, so that helps a little. And I have adaptations for me, like doodling, and taking breaks, and a fidget cube. Today we tried 2 pills. One pill did not do anything and we are going to be doing 2 pills from now on for a little bit and my mom is going to call the doctor that prescribed me my pills (biphentin) I don't think its going to help with school it does not feel like its helping right now. So my mom is going to try to email my teachers because this year I'm going to try a laptop for writing because I do think I will be able to write more because I have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) my hand takes over me and i can't write, like I said before. I know some people have ADHD and deal with this as well so I would try a laptop. Also I am taking breaks every now and then and I  play minecraft during my breaks.

From Nicole
Bye